Qui Shon
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Posted - 2008.08.15 23:06:00 -
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Interesting topic.
Over 3 chars I've lost 13 or 14 battleships, some BC's, mostly just T2 fits on all of them. One +4 clone, and a few +3 clones. Some assorted small stuff too, including Qui's three T1 haulers mentioned in another thread on the forums 
Highlight would be a 500+ mil Domi I guess, or the sweet 400 mil Ishtar that lasted....not very long.
Some of those made me a bit sad for a bit, even angry at the silly mistakes that led to the Ishtar loss. But I'd never loose my temper over something like that. I don't often loose my temper period. Some who know me irl would say never, but that's not true.
A simple typed "crud" is my strongest expression of regret or anger about shiploss to date, I believe.
However, loosing my first "big bucks", i.e. 114mil (iirc) Drake to NPC's on her maiden voyage (was drunk, dozed off), now that ****ed me off. For a long time too. Mainly because it was more then I could afford at the time. Had to sell off almost all of my precious loot to replace it, and even then I got a slightly inferior setup, priced around 90mil iirc. As long as I had that inferior setup, it kept reminding me of my blunder, I guess that's why it took a while to get over it.
I still mention that loss whenever the opportunity to do so arises, either as some odd form of selfpunishment or, I dunno...therapy
But never talked about it outside EveO community. Didn't shout or swear either, not out loud at least. Considered quitting, but not for long.
I have seriously lost my temper over a computer game once though. Stayed ****ed off for three days, either sulking or fretting about my mistake. Enough so that my then gf demanded I give up simracing all together, something about my reaction not being "normal" or "healthy". Sheesh. 
She never did understand it's all about excerted effort and the expectations of the "fruits of that labour". Whether the competition is irl or on the computer doesn't matter in the least. Many don't get that.
It was towards the end of a GTR2 league season, which hadn't really gone my way, not according to my own expectations at least. But in this race I was nevertheless in a position to beat one of my own longtime simracing "heroes", after more then a year of trying. Despite dropping down through the field in the beginning, I managed to put myself in a very strong position towards the end of the 120 minute race. Had a decent lead, but because I had wasted my tires getting that lead he was catching up. I was convinced I had it covered, that a goal I'd set myself almost at the beginning was going to be reached. That I was finally, by my own standards and opinion, going to "succeed" at this particular game, sim or hobby, whatever you want to call it.
Pride precedes a fall, and so I lost focus for an instant, getting too excited at a favorite part of the track, wanting to impress a backmarker I was lapping, but naturally ended up spinning off instead. (this is where the smiley hitting itself with a hammer goes)
That was that. Position lost, victory lost. But that's not what made me mad, even if it's aggravating. The guy was quitting after that season, so I could not ever get another shot at it. Even if he came back now, it wouldn't be the same. Faces change, sim-platform may change, but more importantly, I advance and grade myself differently, and so it would no longer be the achievement it would have been at that time.
That was my chance, my opportunity, my moment. My goal that I had defined for myself. And I totally blew it, by letting an emotion I despise distract me. (vanity, pride)
Neither Eve, nor any other point and click game, can ever come close to that intensity, not for me at least. And so you will never find me swearing at a shiploss.
Yeah, it's a quiet friday night. I'm home with a cold, nothing better to do then ramble on about 'puter games.
TL:DR - I don't get "verbally violent", not over a shiploss at least.
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